A tribute to my teacher

A tribute to my teacher:

Recently, I was asked to give a tribute at the retirement party of my dear friend and teacher.  He was my supervisor during my doctoral internship year almost 10 years ago. I credit him with much of what I learned about the art of psychotherapy, including the centrality of compassion and empathy in the process of healing.  I learned this from him, as his student, and also witnessed how he wove these principles into all aspects of his life.  

Here is some of what I shared about his impact on me, both as a person and as a psychologist-in-training:

I have had the privilege of knowing and learning from my teacher for the past ten years.  I recall the first time I met him — during an interview for the psychology internship position.  I felt nervous, as I looked at the 7 people, who would be interviewing me.  His kind eyes and warmth were reassuring to me.  His presence helped to I settle my nerves, as I shared about why I wanted to join the therapy team.  That kindness, warmth and support has been a constant in my experience of him over the past decade, first as his student/intern, then later as his colleague and friend.  Though he is always supportive and accepting of his students, demonstrating the “unconditional positive regard” (of which Carl Rogers spoke), he is also resolute and direct in identifying the areas of needed growth.  In on such instance, he gently, but firmly encouraged me to “speak up”, as my voice can be quite soft.  It became a running joke, when (in meetings and presentations), I reverted to that old tendency. That honest feedback helped me to adjust and strengthen my voice, so that I could become a better therapist and teacher.  Over the years, I have seen how adeptly my teacher guides both his students and his clients to become the most vibrant, authentic versions of themselves. 

Beyond his kindness, warmth, clinical and professional knowledge and skill, he is one of the most interesting and multi-faceted people I know.  His interests range from therapy, healing trauma, teaching students, and supervision to riding his motorcycle, painting, working in his garden, traveling to see family and friends in Iran, New York, LA and many other destinations.  He is an example and a model to me, regarding how to live a rich and well-balanced life.  I am often amazed by his energy and drive to accomplish all that he does, and with such excellence and care.  

Over the past few years, I have reflected often on what constitutes the well-lived life, both in one’s vocation and in the personal arena.  In the vocation of a psychologist, teacher or in healthcare in general, many people invest for a season, but then burn out and transition to other roles.  It is rewarding, but challenging work and it takes fortitude, internal reserves and a strong spirit.  I am in awe of my teacher’s compassion, dedication, drive and tenacity, which has enabled him to do this work (as a psychologist, supervisor, and professor) for over 40 years and maintain his joy, desire for knowledge and deep compassion for his clients and colleagues.  It is a rare individual who can walk through life with such consistency, grace and dedication and I am deeply thankful for the opportunity to know and learn from such a person.   I believe that we each find teachers and models throughout this life, from whom we can learn how to live our best life.  He is this for me.  

Who are your teachers and guides?  Take a moment to reach out and thank them.